Jacqui

In 1986, I began trying to hide who I was from the world attempted suicide by overdosing on methamphetamine, addicted until 1991. I watched countless friends drop dead, one after another. I survived. I have never told this to anyone until you spoke up. So your words touched me enough to speak. You are not alone. Never give up. I tried so often to commit suicide. Be proud you escaped addiction. I stopped the day I overdosed and began floating above my body, when I stern voice said it was not my time and my duty was not done. I have no idea what my duty is, but know yours is to give voice to those who do not know how to speak until they hear your words. Your voice is your written works yet undone. Your voice is your merit. For whom cares you to me are a Knight of Valor, not a person to be trifled with. Your weapon is your truth, so speak written words which only you can do. Let none restrain the lovely voice you have, my only inheritance was a book. Your book may become another's inheritance. My mothers grand mother was murdered when my grandmother was 4, her voice silenced caused impoverishment of family her entire life but she was my life giving light who endured constant belittlement, insults and suffered indignities none should ever endure. Mother of 5 children, raised them, fed them and loved them. Her name was Vena and she deserved a better life than she had, however the day we buried her I felt peace finally came for her as doves flew in perfect formation above her grave. I asked her why she stayed in the abusive relationship she was in, Vena said "Mikey, where would a woman with 5 kids go? No one would help me." This response made me realize her torment. She owned nothing, the abuser my grandfather constant berated her until day he died, he was so bitter as he sold their home of 40 years to grandsons who evicted them, sold all timber, and sold property immediately upon transfer, paid her nothing. Sad but true. Protect you. No one else will. My opinion. You deserve accolades for survival. Be proud. You are blessed. Take one task at a time until completed. List your tasks one by one, accomplish as a project. If at anytime you need assistance so many talented writers in Authors Learning Center, all of the writers who kept me reading while recovering terminal stage 6 cancer, they simply inspired my mind to keep motivated further. My favorites Mary Higgins Clark, Stephen King and so many others. I finished first book, I hope to finish many more. I prefer to write instruction guides toward process, definition of what should be not what is, these are my focus moving forward. Seek out your motivations, your star is just beginning to be lit and you have much we should hope and be blessed by your words. I have few friends. My spouse is my friend. Be proud of your voice, I am proud of you.

I really truly appreciate your connection with one's ability to have a calling to... (be blessed with our ability to have a voice and share it with anyone willing to be a face of strength, individuality, and character in the face of Recovery) ... be able to give back to anyone who reaches out for a better way of living. You sharing all of what you did truly mean more than I'd do the words justice. I've never had any physical or mental push from other real people. You and the Director made me remember why I chose to do a tell-all in the first place, and yes you're correct in saying it's helped me in my Recovery than anything else, other than my daughter, sorry, she's truly my salvation. She's life! She was sent because God had bigger plans for me, a lot of up's and down's but I know what I must do for the moment! Thank Everyone for all of your kind words and I'm excited and thankful for class with you tomorrow! Sincerely Thank You!